Not Enough

Do you ever experience a feeling of incompleteness? Maybe you could be doing, being or having more.

We live in a world of not enough: Not enough time, not enough friends, not enough money, not enough fun, not enough…… The list goes on.

But this feeling of not enough, of lack, pulls us out of the present moment – it’s never the case right now that there isn’t enough or indeed that we aren’t enough.

In this moment, if you ask yourself, “Am I enough?” and you do this without using you memory or focusing on your body, what happens?

Your mind might go quiet. The inner turmoil might settle down a bit.

Right now, you are enough. And it’s always ‘right now’, because any future is simply imagined through the eyes of the past.

The Double-Edged Sword of Labelling

Labels seem so useful. In many ways they help us steer our way through this weird and wonderful world. At least we can navigate when we have a map, but sometimes we forget that the map is not the territory.

In my experience, labels are actually a double-edged sword.

Imagine awareness as a large, blank sheet of paper. Our assumed self (ego) could be seen as a small dot in the centre of that page.

We spend most of our time fascinated by the goings on of the little-dot-me, this tiny speck with all its needs, likes, and dislikes. Our awareness or attention becomes limited – unaware of the vastness around us.

So what’s wrong with labelling? It narrows things down, puts them in a box, makes our awareness contract.

By way of illustration, you might want to try the following thought experiment:

  1. Recall a story or memory about when you felt sadness
  2. Allow the sadness to manifest
  3. Notice where in your body the sadness is occurring
  4. Take your attention off the story as to why you feel sadness
  5. Put your attention on the sadness itself, de-labelling it and seeing it as just energy. If any thoughts, images or sensations arise, see those too as energy
  6. Notice how you are feeling now

You may notice that, even for a moment or two, you feel or get a sense of expansion or spaciousness.

A simple taste of who you truly are.

If you’re interest

ed in different ways in which you can release labelling, feel free to contact me.

What We Focus On Expands

Have you ever met someone who really “gets your goat”? Someone you’re perhaps obliged to hang out with but who has, for example, an annoying personality trait that you just can’t stand? If you’re human, I’m sure you have. 😉

Every time you encounter that person, whether what they have to say is actually valid or not, your perception of them is somehow coloured by the one thing that looms large in the foreground – that one thing you can’t stand about them.

An example from my own life is John. John is a compulsive talker  He cannot abide silent pauses in conversations – even for a couple of seconds. He has to fill them with anything, often digressing in a meandering way from the general topic being discussed at the time.

What to do? One day, I decided to practice that which I know intellectually to be the case, but which often isn’t employed until things become unbearable. 😉

I finally realised that his behaviour probably wasn’t going to magically change overnight, so I simply let go of my judgement of it. In fact, I allowed myself to fully feel the feelings that arose when he was talking non-stop, and welcomed them –  rather than resisting them. This seems counter-intuitive to most people, who imagine that “welcoming” something would allow it have a greater hold when in fact, the exact opposite is the case.

It is our resistance to things that make them persist. When we allow feelings (for example)  free passage, rather than blocking them out, they will no longer bother us.

Has John’s behaviour changed at all as a result of this? Actually, it seems that it has in some measure. But of course, that could just be my corrected perception of him which, in the end, is all that matters. 🙂

 

Stuck

How often do we hear the cry – or even find ourselves declaring, “I’m stuck!”

How many of us often feel that we can’t move forward because we feel we are lumbered with a recurring belief, attitude, or problem that we want to get rid of?

Several things occur when we discover this:

  • We feel bad and judge ourselves harshly because we are still stuck with it after what is often a long period of time, thus compounding the original problem and its stickiness
  • We look to others  – a book, an authority figure, a teacher or a theory for an explanation. This may bring temporary relief, but we are often still stuck with the problem – except that now, we have one (or more) ways of explaining it or rationalising it!
  • We try to control our minds, in the hope that doing so might prevent the behaviour or action from manifesting itself. (Have you ever tried controlling your mind for any length of time? Good luck with that! I can’t even predict what my next thought will be – can you?)

There is one main problem with all of the above: We are trying to get rid of something – rather than looking at it from a fresh point of view in order to fully examine its validity.

Trying to get rid of something never works, because we are pushing against the problem which actually makes it more real and “solid”. “What you resist persists.”

What does seem to work, in my view, is to simply experience the stuckness as it is – without any labels, descriptions, etc.

When we are able to do this, the problem simply dissolves or integrates rather than being resisted,  thus freeing our “head space” and allowing us to move on, less burdened than we were before.

Often, fresh insights and ways forward will be “miraculously” revealed because of this resulting clarity.

 

 

Identity

We often get so wrapped-up in our various roles in life, that we become stuck in them, identify with them, and begin to believe the we actually are the roles we are playing.

An obvious example of this might be someone who retires, and after several years in the same job, is so identified with that role that they unconsciously feel that the job was their whole life. This person now finds a gaping void in front of them, not know what to do to fill the hours in each day.

Last year, I experienced this myself after 6 years of being a voiceover artist, mainly contracted to one company.

Overnight, all of the contractors were laid off.

After having been so involved in the job and enjoying the benefits it brought – as well as feeling a somewhat childish sense of “specialness” when telling people what I did for a living, I began to question whether I actually was that role and, if I was, whether I actually even enjoyed the work I’d been doing!

Fortunately, the years I’d spent being involved in “self-help” and investigating a wide variety of methods of undoing these types of blocks, I was able to undo my attachment to the role I’d created for myself.

After having done this, other areas of possible work opened up – quite possibly as a result of freeing myself from this fixed identity, some of which I wouldn’t even have considered before.

Of course, who we really are at our core is beyond all these identities, but I’ll elaborate on that another time. 🙂

If you’d like help in getting unstuck from anything you feel is preventing you from moving forward in life, feel free to contact me here.