How often do we hear the cry – or even find ourselves declaring, “I’m stuck!”
How many of us often feel that we can’t move forward because we feel we are lumbered with a recurring belief, attitude, or problem that we want to get rid of?
Several things occur when we discover this:
- We feel bad and judge ourselves harshly because we are still stuck with it after what is often a long period of time, thus compounding the original problem and its stickiness
- We look to others – a book, an authority figure, a teacher or a theory for an explanation. This may bring temporary relief, but we are often still stuck with the problem – except that now, we have one (or more) ways of explaining it or rationalising it!
- We try to control our minds, in the hope that doing so might prevent the behaviour or action from manifesting itself. (Have you ever tried controlling your mind for any length of time? Good luck with that! I can’t even predict what my next thought will be – can you?)
There is one main problem with all of the above: We are trying to get rid of something – rather than looking at it from a fresh point of view in order to fully examine its validity.
Trying to get rid of something never works, because we are pushing against the problem which actually makes it more real and “solid”. “What you resist persists.”
What does seem to work, in my view, is to simply experience the stuckness as it is – without any labels, descriptions, etc.
When we are able to do this, the problem simply dissolves or integrates rather than being resisted, thus freeing our “head space” and allowing us to move on, less burdened than we were before.
Often, fresh insights and ways forward will be “miraculously” revealed because of this resulting clarity.